


Let us conquer the storms within us love

by gravityplant



Series: Genderswapped dnp [1]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Daniella & Fiona, F/F, Femslash, Femslash February, Fluff, Genderswapped Dan & Phil, Phan - Freeform, Phandom - Freeform, Strangers to Lovers, Swearing, brief mention of alcohol, written for Phandom Fic Fests: Femslash February Fest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-28
Updated: 2019-02-28
Packaged: 2019-11-07 00:40:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17950298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gravityplant/pseuds/gravityplant
Summary: Daniella is angry at everything... until she isn't. Until she meets Fi. Fi who can conjure up a smile within two dark eyes. Fi whose hue resembles newly fallen snow, completely untouched like a canvas. With eyes like frozen lakes at midwinter and a smile, a smile that could light a million fires and maybe even set Daniella's cold heart on fire.Or in which Fi searches for a roommate and Daniella is trying to deal with all her fury whilst attempting to escape what's left of her shattered family.





	Let us conquer the storms within us love

**Author's Note:**

> Beta: heartfeltfangirl, thank you so much for helping me with this fic!
> 
> This fic is written for phandomficfests Femslash February Fest on tumblr
> 
> (my tumblr: gravityplant)

Fi closes the door behind herself, letting darkness fill the cinema temporarily before the big screen lights up. Never in a million years would she give up this job. Being able to see new movies for free and get paid is awesome. Sometimes she has to check a few things and tear her eyes away from the bright screen. But mostly she's able to stay and watch the whole movie whilst keeping an eye on the audience. She really loves her job, she does... but unfortunately, it doesn't pay enough.

She closes her eyes for a moment, sighing. She needs to find a housemate, she's already put up some papers on the university she went to before she graduated. Maybe, just maybe, someone will get in touch? She's getting desperate and if she doesn't find someone, she might have to get another job, a better-paying one. And Fi loves her job, so if she can avoid losing it she'll take the chance. Who knows, maybe the new housemate will be super nice?

-

Daniella rolls her eyes. Lola doesn't understand.

"No, I'm not spending another day in my pare- my father's house! I'm moving out the second I find an apartment with a reasonable rent" Daniella argues, she can feel the anger rising from within her. Ever since the accident, all she sees is red. There have been no tears leaking from her eyes, not a single one.

Daniella's not sure if she's just broken or if the feeling of loss will kick in later. All she knows is that this anger has taken over everything. She hates her mother for leaving her, she hates everything.

She almost can't do anything anymore without wanting to break something, she doesn't talk to her father anymore, they only speak through angry screams, bouncing back and forth between them. Daniella feels like a storm that swallows everything in its way, she doesn't know her goal, doesn't know where this anger will lead her. She only hopes she doesn't ever have to see her father again.

She can only talk to Lola anymore and even Lola is not enough sometimes. Lola doesn't understand, she doesn't but... she's still by Daniella's side, so that's something.

But Daniella's father isn't the only one who's gotten a taste of the bad weather, Lola has also gotten her part of the storm. She doesn't deserve that and Daniella understands that, but she just can't control her own temper.

"Why don't you try here?" Lola asks, she's stopped standing by the schools pinboard. Daniella spins around, challenging Lola with a single eyebrow raised.

"What's it you've got?"

Lola smirks, waving for her to come and look. Daniella groans loudly, but walks over to where Lola stands anyways, albeit slowly.

"There's someone willing to share the rent with a roommate, maybe that be good, Dee? Then you won't have to be completely alone. Especially..." Lola swallows, she looks sad, eyes downcast, "...especially after what happened".

Daniella glares at Lola over her shoulder before she turns back to the paper before her. Lola bites her lip looking worriedly at her best friend as she's scrutinizing the note thoroughly.

"How do we know this isn't a creep?" Daniella says suspiciously. Lola smiles then, holding up a phone.

"Why don't you call her?"

-

Fi is just about to leave work when the phone in her back pocket starts vibrating and she jumps. Her co-worker Leo looks up at her when she jumps and grins widely. She gives him a glare as she answers the phone. He just laughs and gives her a thumbs up. She shouldn't have told him that she's searching for a roommate, now he's going want to know if it was a potential roommate after the call has ended.

"Hello?" Fi says nervously. She puts her phone between her ear and shoulder so that she can tighten her ponytail whilst still waiting for a reply from the other side of the line. She grabs the phone again when a feminine voice answers.

"Hi... um, I saw your note and I guess I was just wondering if the offer still stands and I'd like to know a little more about you... you know if I'm gonna live with you," the voice says and laughs awkwardly. The other woman sounds so flustered, so Fi can't hinder the smile from growing on her lips.

Leo watches her from behind his desk raising an eyebrow, a smirk taking place on his annoying face. She's going to kill him after this. He loves to tease her about how her trying to find a roommate is just a secret plan for gaining a girlfriend. She already knows he’s going to ask her the moment she ends the call if she’s found her new girlfriend. God, Fi will never understand how she even befriended him. They are definitely an odd pair of friends.

"Yeah, definitely," she laughs a little awkwardly, relief laced in her voice.

"Um, why don't we, like, meet where I work? You know the local cinema, then after that, we can, like, go to the apartment and you can see if you would like to live there?" Fi says, as she twirls a strand of black hair around her finger. Fi glances over at Leo again but fortunately he's not looking at her anymore, he's writing down something instead.

"Yeah that'd be cool, er... thank you so much..." the woman says, but before she has time to hang up, Fi intervenes.

"Hey, wait!" she says urgently. "I think it'd be easier to find you if I knew your name and you knew mine".

The woman laughs and Fi's stomach knots from the sudden nerves.

"Oh, you're probably right," she says, her voice a little flatter than before.

Fi swallows self-consciously.

"Um, well, it's Fiona."

The woman hums in response. Then she speaks, "I want you to call me Dan".

Fi smiles to herself.

"Will do, " then she adds, "you know you see me when you see a woman with a black ponytail and a side-swept fringe, I'll probably be behind the desk".

"Might that be the last sign of your post-emo hair?" the woman asks, and Fi can hear that she's smirking. Fi blushes and before she has time to answer, Daniella continues, "anyway, I'll meet you tomorrow?"

"Yeah," Fi croaks, mouth dry.

-

Daniella's actually relieved that she didn't hate the stranger. It feels good that she’ll get to know someone ravingly new.

Maybe it’s because she’s tired of being herself, she wants to be someone entirely new. And giving herself a different nickname that this stranger can use feels like a step in the right direction. Like changing a part of herself, who she used to be in a healthy way. Maybe this is what growing up feels like, she idly wonders. 

It seemed that this “Fiona” might become an okay room-mate and before Daniella had realised, she had forgotten that she'd ever been angry. But the minute she ends the call, the thoughts rush back and the anger, it feels like molten lava, rushing through her veins.

Lolas expression is unreadable.

"How'd it go?" she asks.

Daniella shakes her head, not because it didn't go well, but because she has to think about it.

"I'm gonna meet her at her job and then we'll go to the apartment so I can check it out."

Lola gives her a soft smile. "That's good hun, remember to message me if something doesn't feel right, okay?"

Daniella shakes her head.

"Lola, I can look after myself, I'm not gonna message you, because it'll go fine." 

Lola just looks at her before nodding her head thoughtfully.

"That's good I suppose, I'm just trying to make sure you're okay though".

Daniella sighs and locks of her hair fall in front of her eyes when she lowers her head.

"I know you do Lola, I do...", then Daniella shakes her head angrily, looking up at Lola through strands of hair.

Lola doesn't meet her eyes, her lips bearing a valiant indication of a smile.

"...But I don't need you to look after me like I'm some sort of baby, I don't need help, I'm perfectly fine without any."

"That's what you always say, what you've always said," Lola says, and a hint of anger slips from her and her always so contained emotions. Daniella can see her eyebrow twitch and the slight wrinkle of her nose, signs that tell her just how hard Lola is finding it keeping it together. But the thing is, Daniella can't find herself to care, she's too selfish. She's... she's a monster.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" She roars, glaring at Lola. She can feel the storm brewing inside of her, it's eating at her humanity, swallowing it in big gulps. A monster, she's turning into a monster. She didn't used to be this irritable. Why... why is she always this angry?

"Dee, you never see the people that help you, it's like they're visible to you. We're all around you and we try so fucking hard, don't you understand that?" Lola shakes her head and turns away from Daniella, exposing her back. But Daniella still saw the tears in her eyes, how they reflected the ceiling lights.

"Go! " Daniella growls. And Lola does, until she reaches the corner of the corridor. She turns around there, giving Daniella one last look before saying, "words matter too, you know Dee, don't keep them sparse when it comes to important things".

-

Fi's shuffling up another scop off popcorn into the box that she's about to give to one of the many customers. Her shift ends soon and she'll meet this "Dan" for the first time. She's curious how she looks, she can't help but imagine someone beautiful with that voice.

Yesterday Leo had asked her if it was a date the minute her thumb had touched the "end call" button. She'd shook her head saying, "just because I'm a lesbian doesn't mean that I just fall in love with every woman that ever comes in contact with me, you know". Leo had rolled his eyes at that, grunting that he, by all means, knew that.

Fi had raised her eyebrows, smirking at him.

"You don't fall in love with every woman you meet, do you?"

He looked defeated before he gave her a half smile "you're right". Fi laughed.

"And?" she said.

Leo sighed and muttered, "And it was stupid of me to think that".

Then they smile at each other stupidly as only best friends can do in these types of scenarios.

And maybe Leo was right in one way, even though it’s a really stupid idea coming from him; She'd really like to go on a date with the owner of that voice.

Fi's fringe gets in the way again as she's typing in the last customer's payment into the cash register. As soon as she's done, she looks up. There's only a few minutes left until her shift ends and "Dan" is supposed to be here. Maybe she's already here, Fi thinks, looking around for a young woman in the crowd of people.

When her eyes fall upon someone making their way towards her, she can't help but think, this might be Dan. The woman has a soft, rounded, heart-shaped face with big brown eyes. Her hair is long and brown and falls freely into curls over her chest and down behind her back where Fi can no longer see them. She might be the most beautiful woman Fi has ever seen. This is bad, this is really bad, Fi thinks, she can't go and get a crush on her probably-soon-to-be housemate.

The woman does come up to her and stands for a while, not saying anything, before she grunts, "'r you Fi?"

Her face has shown no signs of what she's thinking and Fi's scared that she's already destroyed all her chances of finding a roommate.

Fi nods dumbly, scratching her neck whilst giving a nervous half smile.

"Yeah..."

The woman nods, then seemingly thinking about it, until she actually gives Fi a half smile.

"Great, I'm Dan from yesterday." She holds out her hand for Fi to shake.

"Oh, um, did you want to come with me and look at the apartment?"

Dan nods, "I'd love to, I've been dying to move out since forever and it'd be cool to live somewhere central."

-

Fi closes the door behind them. She sees Dan looking around the place as she's throwing her shoes off with haste. Fi can particularly feel her energy soar through the air and it's making Fi's own heart beat a little faster.

Dan's already standing in the living room when Fi's managed to get her shoes off. Gosh, she never was good at making bows, instead the lacing on her shoes always looked like a big mess and the strings were full of knots from her previous struggles.

"I like it", Dan beams. She even goes as far as throwing up her arms like she's trying to prove how much she does in fact like it.

Fi laughs, shaking her head at the ridiculous woman.

"You haven't even seen your room or the rest of the apartment".

Dan smiles, turning around.

"I don't need to, it's perfect".

-

Daniella has crept up in the couch. Fi has offered her a glass of wine and she's sipping contently once in a while. She can still feel the anger brew at the pit of her stomach, but it has lessened significantly since she met up with Fi. Maybe this is just a good day, she thinks. Maybe the anger she feels for everything that had happened will finally ebb out.

She knew she would fit right in, here in this apartment, when Fi smiled that way, the bend of her lips resembling the last sunrays at a summer’s day - just before the sun crawls over the hill and the night sweeps its cape over the land. And she just had those kind eyes Daniella was so familiar with. Those eyes that she'd feared would slip from her mind when she needed them the most. Because Fi's eyes resembled her own mothers so much it hurt; yet Daniella couldn't stop staring.

Fi didn't own a TV, or Daniella supposes it's "them" now because they live together. Daniella would mind normally but at the moment she doesn’t. She’s mostly watching things on her own computer anyway. Either way, the place is filled with the background noise of a small hand radio. Fi looks over at Daniella and smiles over the rim of the glass.

"One of my favourite songs is playing right now".

Daniella doesn't say anything, she just watches Fi as she closes her eyes. Her lips are moving following the melody. Daniella can't help but think that she's pretty, with her pale skin and black hair. She reminds her a bit of Snow White but like, the weird, emo version. With the sudden urge to smile, she can feel the fire rise in her stomach and she pushes it down, afraid that if she lets something out right now - even a smile - everything will flood out. The storm, her anger and all her sorrow that's buried deep down beneath the rage.

So she keeps on observing as the sad, but at the same time, hopeful song fills her body and runs through her veins. Fi laughs as she messes up the lyrics. She hiccups a little, then smiles towards Daniella.

"I really hope you'll like it here".

Daniella nods "I already do".

-

Fi's sitting under her blanket, her laptop on her lap. She's wearing her expensive-costed-her-a-fortune-headphones and she's rented yet another movie to watch. She should fall asleep already, but she's always had problems sleeping and a long time ago she started watching movies before she fell asleep and she's just carried on that tradition. It’s something with movies that just resonates with her, everything just feels right the moment she presses "play".

She wouldn't call herself addicted but she's definitely dependent on them, wanting to live in the magical world within the screen. It started when she was little and her father always took her to the pictures each Sunday. It became their special day. But it was a couple of years ago they stopped doing that.

This new tradition she's started might've begun because of sleeping problems, but the underlying reason is just sorrow. She's mostly over that by now. It doesn't hurt as much, she's watching all these movies just as much for herself as for her father.

One year has gone and she still misses him, but she's getting better and every other weekend she visits his grave to leave him some flowers and a list. It contains a listing of all the films she's watched in the past week and reviews of them, using their own special made up rating system.

She puts in the DVD and waits for the movie to start.

-

It's been a month and during that time Fi has gotten a lot closer to Dan than she would've ever hoped. They've gone out to the movies, ‘cuz, you know, Fi gets "free" tickets from her boss and it would be unnecessary to let them go to waste, so she asked Dan to join her.

Dan has even started to join her in her tradition of watching movies before going to bed. They sit under Fi's soft and heavy blanket huddled up together, eyes fixed on the laptop before them. And sometimes, but only sometimes, they both fall asleep in Fi's bed during the movie.

Slowly Fi feels that the cavity in her heart is being filled up again, little by little. Her father had always told her that "life continues even after the movies" and Fi has always believed him, but now she starting to think that this applies to her own life as well.

-

Fi looks over at Daniella. They've just eaten a lot of pizza and are leaned back on the sofa, satisfied. Fi turns further in Daniella's direction, she furrows her eyebrows, parting her lips.

Daniella knows she's gonna say something before the words tumble out of her rosy lips. She just wasn't prepared that, after walking around the edges for weeks, Fi's finally gathered enough courage to ask what Daniella wants to avoid thinking about the most.

"When you contacted me the first time, you said you were really looking forward to moving out, how come?"

Fi's pretty face is taunting her. Daniella shakes her head. She doesn't answer.

Fi downcast her eyes, drumming her fingers against her own lap.

"I- you don't need to tell me..."

Fi still doesn't get her answer and the two of them sit there in silence. At last, Fi mutters, "At least tell me if there's something wrong, I could try to help-"

And everything explodes.

Molten lava runs through her veins. She is on fire. She can feel the heat burning from behind her ribcage, rage filling every fibre.

"There’s nothing to say, just leave me alone!"

She shakes her head when Fi reaches out a hand, then she pushes her away. But the sudden anger doesn't last long. A sense of pain suddenly curls in her stomach and to her relief or fright - she can't tell which - she can feel her eyes water and tear after tear fall like crystals. It hurts to cry, to feel so much all at once.

"Leave me alone, " she repeats, but it's weaker this time. It sounds like the broken record finally has given up.

And Daniella finally lets Fi holds her close. he cradles her to her chest and Daniella feels loved. She feels like her mother - who she misses so much - is hugging her through Fi.

"I-I", Daniella starts, and Fi brushes circles on her back.

"It's okay," Fi says, "I'm stupid, I shouldn't have asked."

Daniella shakes her head, opening her eyes. Her eyelashes filled with droplets of tears that make everything blurry as she looks up, meeting Fi's gaze.

"Ever since my mom", she sniffs loudly, "my mom... died, everything has just... been ruined."

Her voice sounds thick and a bit shrill.

"My father hasn't gone outside in forever. He demands answers on the questions I don't know the answers to. Why I don't cry, if I'm emotionless. I've tried... I've tried to convince myself I'm not, but all I've felt since her death is just pure anger. I've let my anger hurt him too, I'm a monster!"

"Dan, you're not a monster, not at all! You're so... so human I promise, just listen to me for a second, okay?

I- I think he's looking for someone to blame for your mother's death and you just happened to be there. I think he found your lack of displaying your sorrow openly in form of tears, provoking. But that doesn't mean that what he's said to you is acceptable.

And you... you're angry, Dan, and that isn't an unreasonable feeling, everyone handles sorrow differently. I get that your anger and his sorrow collide. I think you'll - when you're ready - have to be the bigger person - even though he was an asshole - and say sorry for how you acted, but also mention that he treated you unfairly too, I'm sure he knows that himself, deep down." Fi mumbles.

"I... I lost my father a while ago, and, " Fi clears her throat, "I got kind of stuck in a rut after that. All I did was watching movies until my eyes were dry and stung. I just couldn't sleep at all, I still have problems to this day but I found that it helps to watch a movie before I go to bed.

I guess I just wanted to say... that we need to conquer our own storms, we need to do it ourselves but we don't have to be alone. Does that make sense? If we try our utmost it will get better, no matter how stupid or cliche it sounds. Look at me, I found you and you've really helped me grow as a person, in your own way."

Daniella closes her eyes and breathes in.

"Fi... thank you".

-

The day it happens is to Fi's surprise a completely ordinary day - or, to correct herself - was a completely ordinary day until Dan stepped into the cinema a sunny Friday.

She walks up to the desk leaning over it with a smirk.

"Hi," she says, one eyebrow raised.

"Hello, " Fi answers shyly, looking around herself to see if anyone has noticed how flustered she is.

"I'd like to order two tickets for you and me tonight on that movie you've wanted to watch all week. "

Fi blushes, "Dan you don't need to".

She smiles and shakes her head at Fi.

"No, of course I don't, but I just said that I want, big difference." The whites of her teeth glimmer as she laughs.

"Oh," Fi says stupidly and scratches the back of her head.

"And oh," Daniella says, her eyes lighting up, "was about to forget"

She leans forward, placing a hand on either side of Fi's face, her soft thumbs caressing Fi's cheeks as her soft lips touch Fi's own quickly.

"For saving my relationship with my father, I spoke to him today and let's just say, it ended in a sobbing party were both parties showered the other in sorries."

Fi blinks speechlessly back at Daniella, before she waves, going to sit down further away, waiting for Fi's shift to end. Fi smiles to herself, touching her lips where Dan's featherlight, soft ones touched hers. Something dangerous and exciting is fluttering in her stomach.

What in heavens, Fi thinks, she has a date with the Dan she's been head over heels for ever since she heard her voice over the phone.


End file.
